Whatever.

Ok, so I haven't posted in a long time.  I worried about that.  I am not sure I am cut out for blogging...but I am trying.  I am also not sure I am cut out for weight loss...but I am trying.

I haven't posted in a long time because I kept putting off the "starting again" post.  I didn't put off starting again.  I put off talking about it.  It lasted a day or two...but then off again.  I don't like the starting all over again feeling....and I especially don't like talking about it.

Whatever.

I am starting again.  And again. And again.  I have no great news...well starting again is better than giving up completely so maybe that is good news.  Anyway, I don't have the 10 lbs down or 20lbs down.  I do have the 20 lbs up...but that isn't the best thing to blog about.

I am dealing with the migraines...figured out that they are not migraines...but it is just easier to call them that.  Otherwise I have to do the whole...my head is seriously going to jump right off my head and go rolling on the floor--or I would like it to so that the rest of me can get some relief.  I seem to have a "treatment routine", but I would prefer they be gone.

Of course I would prefer a lot of things.

Wow I sound down.  I am not really, just fed up with starting.  But again, whatever.  I am here.  So do it.  Like the girl on Private Practice....can't believe I am here in this place again...but here I am.

I worry about the comments.  I don't really need anyone to say anything.  I just need to get moving.  Which by the way, I did this morning at the Y.  An hour with the personal trainer and my two new workout buddies.

I am glad to be working out.  I am horrified how much ground I have lost since boot camp.  Whatever.  I need to focus on now.  That is what I have.

So now...today...I worked out.  I have eaten reasonably.  I am working on emotional stuff--baggage, past, etc. etc.  I am drinking water.  I am learning what it means to be kind to yourself.  And I blogged.

yeah me.  Let's do it again tomorrow.

It's me...still here...still working it out...