So as I am driving to boot camp I realize the last time I was in an organized fitness group was....high school. Shit. What am I doing?!?! No wonder my stomach hurts.
So I get there early to do paperwork. All is fine...health forms, medical releases, etc. Standard stuff. The trainer shows up, takes me to another room to get me caught up since I missed the first class. He is going through the standard..."can't guarantee weight loss, have to pair it with eating better, etc." I tell him that I have lost 30 lbs and now is the time to add exercise and that is why I am there. He seems good with that.
He has to do the body fat measurements and isn't all that thrilled with my numbers. I get it...but they are so much better than 6 months ago...so I am rather pleased. Plus, that is why I am here. To learn, get more fit and develop fitness as part of my life. And this IS a class for people who have 20+ lbs to lose...so I am all good.
As he is doing all this the conference room we are in is starting to fill up. I am thinking it is another group because these people are tiny. Ok, maybe not tiny...but don't have 20+ to lose by my account. But he starts measuring them and asking them if they are sore from Monday. I realize I might be in trouble. One girl even had a BMI in a healthy range. WTF? (I have heard of this....)
Turns out most of them have been in the class before...and that apparently the 20+ just makes for a good advertisement. I look around and the women are all half my age...except for one lady who if she took off the 20lbs of jewelry she is wearing would probably be underweight. Not good. I am sweating and class hasn't started. There are some men, they seem about my age and do seem like they have some to lose. So once again, in a room I am the biggest...save for a couple of grown men.
I decide that I need to be here, deserve to be here, and will be able to handle it.
We have a stability ball, a step, a pair of 5lbs weights and a pair of 10lbs weights. I'm ok. I have seen these things before. 10lb weights make me nervous, but hey sitting out here is the exact amount of weight I have lost so far.... I got this...it won't be pretty...but I got this.
And then it starts.
Pick up the 5 lbs...lunges to half court, sprint to end and sprint back to half court, lunges to the end. Pick up 10 lbs. Shuffle on the step for 20 seconds. Side lunges with 10 lbs. 12 on each side. Something else I have blocked out... Then repeat the circuit 4 times.
Kicked. My. Ass.
The biggest problem is that my heart rate is so high that I literally think it is going to jump out of my chest and run and hide. I know that you are supposed to get your heart rate up, but I don't think I should be dizzy and faint in the first 5 minutes. I remember that the trainer says to just do what you can, so I am behind maybe 3 reps. I notice I am the only one. I don't really know how well they were doing because I truly thought I was going to pass out...so I just found a spot on the wall and hoped it would all end soon.
And then I had a REAL problem.
I feel the gas rising and I know I am about to pass loud gas that will make the city think a new tornado warning has been installed. Unsure what to do, I left and went to the bathroom. At this point I realize just how high my heart rate is and how this is definitely not safe. I get my business done and head back. The room has this look of relief. I am thrilled that they seem to care about me...but slightly disturbed that they clearly are somewhat surprised that I haven't just collapsed. The trainers ask if I am ok. I say that I am and that I will get this. I am thinking that they probably think that I threw up...but I am not about to tell them I just had gas.
So I get back to it.
Dead lifts with the 10 lbs. Side lunges again. Quad lifts with 10lbs. A couple more things I am blocked out. Repeat 4 times. I am able to do them all, but my heart rate just will not cooperate. I am not sure what to do, but I keep trying.
I am sure that this has to be about over...and then noticed that it has been less than 30 minutes. We have over 30 left. I. Am. Not. Going. To. Make. It.
And then it hits me. I am 41 fucking years old. This IS my first rodeo (which tickles me and I laugh out loud and I am sure the room thought I was oxygen deprived). I definitely suck at this, but I will get better. Crap, I can't get worse. I can do it. Just think how much better I will be next week. So with my renewed energy I continue to try to keep up.
And then I start thinking I don't know much about exercise science (and make a mental note to ask some people) but I remember talking with my kinesologist (his speciality is sports medicine) the other day and he was telling me that the biggest mistake people make it to have their heart rate too high. That it releases all kinds of bad chemicals and really works against you. Shit. I CAN NOT survive this only to know that I am doing more harm that good. So I start thinking "how can I lower my heart rate and still participate" and then it hits me. Screw the weights. And that is exactly what I did. I did all the exercises, and at the right tempo, but with no weights. It was still a challenge, but I could feel it in the muscles, not just in my heart.
I keep up pretty good and it ends. I am very tired, my muscles sore, but I did it. I summoned up all my courage and went to the intern trainer (who was leading) and told her my issue was my heart rate. I asked her if it would be better to do fewer reps with the weights or more reps without the weights. She thought no weights or lighter weights would be best. So look, in my completely overwhelmed state I still managed to sort of figure out what to do. I thanked her, told her that I would get it, and that I would see her tomorrow. She was very supportive.
When I got to the parking lot I felt an overwhelming urge to cry. I wasn't sure why. Because I was way in over my head, or because I am way in over my head but Did. It. Anyway. I don't know.... I do know that I was too tired to cry.
I am doing ok this morning. Day 2 is today...
more to come...